The Definitive Guide to Understanding Modern Dating Trends
11/13/2024 12:00:00 AM
In today’s dating landscape, new terms and trends shape the way we flirt date online. From “ghosting” to “breadcrumbing,” here’s your guide to the most prominent dating trends, what they mean, and how to navigate them.
1. Ghosting: The Silent Exit
Ghosting is the act of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone, leaving them without closure or explanation. Originating in the mid-2000s, ghosting gained popularity with online dating’s rise. This trend leaves the “ghostee” in a painful limbo, wondering what went wrong. Ghosting often happens when someone wishes to avoid conflict or simply loses interest but lacks the courage to confront.
Tip - Recognize ghosting as a reflection of the ghoster's character, not your worth. Learn more here.
2. Catfishing: Creating a False Persona
Catfishing involves using a fake identity online to lure someone into a relationship. This trend was popularized by the documentary Catfish. Common motives for catfishing include seeking emotional validation, financial gain, or even revenge. Signs of catfishing include reluctance to meet in person, inconsistencies in their story, and sudden requests for money.
Tip - Trust your instincts, be wary of red flags, and avoid sharing personal or financial information with anyone you haven’t met in person. Our article on Catfishing makes for interesting reading.
3. Breadcrumbing: Leaving Tiny Signs of Interest
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives minimal attention or vague signals to keep someone interested without committing. It’s a tactic to avoid loneliness or maintain options. For the “breadcrumbed,” this leads to confusion and self-doubt, as their romantic interest never truly invests in the relationship.
Tip - Recognize breadcrumbing early on by looking for mixed signals. It’s best to step back and invest in someone who values your time and attention. Have a look at CNN Health for more.
4. Benching: Keeping Someone in Reserve
When a person is kept on standby while the other explores other options, they are being “benched.” Like breadcrumbing, this can cause confusion and frustration. It’s a way to keep the door open without committing.
Tip - Look out for inconsistent behaviour, cancelled plans, or messages only when they’re bored.
5. Zombieing: The Comeback of a Ghost
Zombieing refers to when someone who previously ghosted you returns as if nothing happened. This behaviour can be confusing, as they may claim to “miss” you, giving you hope while not truly intending to commit.
Tip - Acknowledge the pain of their initial disappearance and ask yourself if you want to invest in someone who may disappear again.
6. Stashing: Keeping You Secret
If your partner doesn’t acknowledge you on social media, avoids introducing you to friends or family, and keeps you hidden from their personal life, you’re likely being “stashed.” This trend reflects hesitation to fully integrate someone into their life.
Tip - If you feel stashed, communicate your needs openly.
7. Love Bombing: Overwhelming Attention with a Hidden Agenda
Love bombing is an intense courtship strategy, where one person showers the other with attention, compliments, and gifts to create rapid attachment. It often masks intentions to manipulate or control.
Tip - Recognise that genuine relationships grow steadily and involve mutual respect. If someone’s attention seems overwhelming, take a step back to see if there’s a balance.
8. Cushioning: Keeping a Backup Partner
Cushioning involves maintaining flirtatious connections with others while in a relationship, as a backup plan in case things don’t work out. This behaviour can cause insecurity and trust issues in the primary relationship.
Tip - Open communication can prevent cushioning behaviour; if you feel insecure in your relationship, discuss it with your partner.
9. The Slow Fade: Gradual Disengagement
The slow fade happens when one person gradually stops responding to texts, becomes less available, and eventually disappears. It’s less abrupt than ghosting but equally frustrating.
Tip - If you feel someone fading away, recognise the signs early and consider moving on rather than waiting for closure.
10. Gaslighting: Manipulative Behaviour
Gaslighting involves manipulating someone by distorting their sense of reality, often making them feel overly sensitive or “crazy.” It’s a form of emotional abuse that can erode self-esteem.
Tip - Trust your feelings and avoid relationships where you constantly feel uncertain or confused.
11. Soft Launch: Subtle Introduction on Social Media
A “soft launch” is a way to hint at a new relationship on social media without fully revealing the partner. This trend balances excitement with privacy, allowing people to test the waters before going public.
Tip - If your partner is taking this route, communicate about your expectations to prevent misunderstandings.
12. Phubbing: Ignoring Partner for Phone
Phubbing is when one person is more engaged with their phone than the person they’re dating, creating feelings of disconnection and disrespect.
Tip - Set boundaries around phone use during dates to maintain respect and attention. (Guardian) . If you are looking for more help in toning your own Phubbing, The Guardian has got you covered.
13. Cobwebbing: Letting Go of Past Relationships
Cobwebbing involves “clearing out” old connections, mementos, and social media posts from past relationships to create space for new connections. It’s a healthy trend that promotes emotional closure.
Tip - If you’re feeling bogged down by past relationships, cobwebbing can help you start fresh with a positive mindset.
From ghosting to breadcrumbing, the dating landscape has become increasingly complex. Understanding these trends can help you identify behaviours that might not align with your dating goals, and better equip you to make choices that foster healthy, authentic connections. Each trend reveals something about the challenges and rewards of dating today, offering insights to help you approach love with open eyes and a steady heart.